Going on a cruise can sound like the height of luxury.
Sun, fun, open bars and the unending ocean, speckled with exotic locales and beautiful, relaxed people.
And we won't lie - some cruises are really like that! - But if we're being honest, we have to admit that most of them really, really aren't.
The difference between expectation and reality is pretty huge, and we feel like it's our duty to help you make up your mind if you're on the fence about how to spend your next vacation by being as informative as we can be.
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And maybe, just maybe, get a little schadenfreude out of it.
Boarding – Expectation
Ahh, boarding the cruise ship.
This is where it all starts. The fresh sea breeze, the plaintive yet uplifting cry of the gulls, the white ship sparkling in the sun - this is your time to take a deep breath and leave your troubles behind as you walk up the gang plank and prepare to enter a world where all you have to worry about is which way you'd like to be pampered.
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Oh, if only it were so! Sadly, reality has something different in mind.
Boarding – Reality
Well, you're standing in line.
Nice.
Get used to it, because queuing up is going to be a major part of your cruise experience.
No plaintive cries of gulls here - or, wait! Was that a gull? Oh. Oh, no, it's just a baby crying. Did someone decide to bring a baby on board? You betcha.
If you get up on the tips of your toes, you might get a whiff of that intoxicating, fresh ocean breeze - but right now all you're getting is the stale smell of sunscreen and cold chicken nuggets the guy in front of you decided would be nice to snack on while you're… processed.
Image by Sonja CZESCHKA from Pixabay
Nothing like getting processed to kick off your Caribbean vacation!
The Cabin – Expectation
Okay, so the line was long, processing was even longer, and your vacation hasn't even started yet but you're already warm, sweaty and tired.
At least you can retreat to your spacious, luxurious cabin, switch on the AC and pour yourself something cool and refreshing from the minibar. As you fall back onto your giant bed, you close your eyes and think "Hey, this might not be too bad after all!"
You push open your cabin's sliding doors and walk out to the balcony, now overlooking the port, but which will soon give you an ever-changing view of the ocean and the exotic lands you'll be visiting, and let the cool breeze wash over you.
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You sigh contently. Time to relax, at last.
The Cabin – Reality
Well, guys, we're sorry to disappoint yet again, but if you think you're going to be able to walk around your cabin, you're sorely mistaken.
As for that balcony with sliding doors letting in that cool sea breeze?
Well… there's a window. It's not very big, it doesn't open, and it overlooks the industrial containers at the port, but it's a window.
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As far as good news goes, though - you can definitely fall back on your mattress! Given, mostly because there's no other way to reach it - but that's still something… right?
The Pool - Expectation
You've rested up, and the ship is underway. There's a gourmet dinner planned tonight, and if yesterday night was anything to go by, it's going to be the best meal you've ever eaten in your life.
What you really need to do is to work up an appetite - and swimming a few laps sounds like the perfect way to do that.
You calmly walk up to the jumping board, and soon, your body is immersed in the cool, clear sea water pumped up to the ship's top deck, calmly propelling your body forward through the wide swimming lane, your mind focused and clear.
Swish.
Image by Patrick Lim from Pixabay
Perfect.
The Pool - Reality
You ate too much at that open burrito buffet last night.
Sure, Taco Bell would be considered haute cuisine in comparison to what you were served, but you can't say no to a burrito - and you're so bloated you feel like you have to burn some calories.
Image via Imgur
The ship's pool is definitely not an option - but trying to elbow your way to it can be considered a workout in and of itself. Then, when you get there it's full of screaming, bratty children. Don't even mention what the kids do in the pool. Not so luxurious after all, is it?
